Sideshows

 In case you don’t know, ShprixieLand is the elaborate little art home I share with my partner Victoria in Boswell. It’s here that we spend most of our time making fancy-schmancy pottery. While our livelihood consists mainly of metamorphosing mud into money, we do consider ourselves citizen scientists - spending our free time measuring and recording the effects of the atmospheric anthropomorphism that circulates above Kootenay Lake.

Now, we’ve only lived here for 20 years, so we only have the two decades of our own observations to fall back on, but more and more,...

Remember those glory days of our youth, when all the world was fresh with possibility? It was the springtime of the spirit. In fact, it was spring. You and I were just two drops of rain and we felt like we could fall forever. The world was our sky, or the sky was our world. Whatever. 

Everything was new and bright as we chased each other through the breeze. It was just you and me and gravity. Ok, and maybe 10 trillion other drops too, but it felt like we were special, like no one had ever...

"What is the wood stove going to be like?" Asks Baby Firewood to Mama Firewood.

"None of us are really sure, twiglet.” She says while smoothing down Baby's adorable little slivers. "I think it's supposed to be pretty hot, though."

"Like August?"

She tucks a loosening bit of bark back around Baby and smiles. "Yes. I think so." She says. "The stove is probably quite a bit like August."

"Papa!" Baby cries with excitement. 

"How's my little splinter?" Papa asks as he tumbles in a little breathlessly. "You're a chip off the old...

As we all know, Kootenay Lake is home to some incredible wonders, but I think we can all agree that none are quite as wondrous as the western conifer seed bug. This creature is a true wonder of the natural world, and I'm sure that as scientists continue to study them, humanity will begin to realize its dreams of travelling across the stars. You see, I believe that the unique attributes of these smelly little bugs will help us to unlock the mystery of teleportation.

No, I'm serious. Think about it for a second. 

There you...